My Conversation with the Apostle Paul

ME:  You were a young, zealous powerful man with connections to powerful men who gave you power. You were climbing the ladder to achieve success and position. You were very popular with the power brokers and did all you could to please your supervisors and make them happy with you and your performance. 

PAUL:  Yep.  You analyzed that correctly. I had everything. I mean everything and had become everything that I had ever dreamed of from my youth to that terrifying moment on the Damascus Road where Jesus abruptly stopped me in my tracks, and I was struck blind by the brilliant light. I was driven and obsessed. I was a workaholic. I wanted to fit in with them and defend the status quo even if it meant arresting those I felt were a threat to me and my position knowing they would be executed. I wanted to be a part of the religious bureaucracy and go to the top of religious power. That was all I wanted, and all I knew. Nothing or no one would stop me from achieving my life goal. 

ME:  Wow!  You were on your way - not so much to Damascus but on your way to the pinnacles of power. Your dreams, plans, and ambitions came to a sudden stop disrupting your life and destroying it as you knew it. Heaven's light blinded you.  You went from being a powerful man to a powerless man. 

PAUL:  That was quite a blow to me. Humiliating. Three men who were going to Damascus with me had to help me to my feet. I stumbled around. I couldn't see. I was not able to confidently put one foot in front of the other. I felt I would fall. In an instant, I went from being a somebody to a nobody. I was suddenly weak, helpless, and dependent on them. I had never been dependent on anybody else in my life. 

ME:  I find it interesting that the men took you on to Damascus instead of taking you back to Jerusalem where the high priest who had authorized your mission to Damascus could help you.  

PAUL:  Jesus told me to go ahead into the city, and He would tell me what to do.  I was so confused. It was like I had no other choice but to heed what I had heard. I had doubts about going on to Damascus.  Did I really hear what I had heard or was all of this crazy? Had I lost my mind?  But my blindness confirmed that I indeed had had an encounter with Jesus.  I asked the men to take me to Damascus.  I couldn't go back to Jerusalem and back to my comfort zone.  I had no choice but to press on. I couldn't turn back.  

ME:  Ananias came looking for you.  He was scared to death of you. After all, he was one of those you came to arrest and have executed. 

PAUL:  I was blind and scared too.  I had no idea my sight would be restored. I couldn't eat or drink anything. I was so stressed not knowing what laid before me.  I had everything in my life planned out. I was living my dreams. But in my blindness, I couldn't tell day from night.  I became depressed too.  Change wasn't easy for me. 

As far is Ananias is concerned, isn't that ironic how The Lord works? Yea, he was on my arrest list.  I had a warrant for him and many others.  It took a lot of guts for him to come to me.  I think he knew he was a wanted man.  I considered him and all the Christians as a threat to me. A threat to me getting what I wanted. They were dangerous to the status quo.  I had to defend my religion and protect my position of power. The high priest gave me authority to do what I needed and wanted to do. 

ME:  That is ironic indeed. It's funny how the Lord works.  Here was a man who was powerless before you, and now Christ gave him the power to heal and restore your sight. Ananias went from powerless to powerful. You went from powerful to powerless and dependent on a man you had come to arrest. Amazing!

PAUL:  It is amazing how Jesus works.  I have found that the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.  After The Lord through Ananias restored my sight, I was so exited to tell everyone what Christ had done to me and for me. I went to the synagogue to give my testimony. But, I was so naive.  I thought they would be excited too.  Boy, was I fooled!  They resisted me and my message. They liked the old Paul and wanted him back.  I was not expecting their reaction. I honestly thought that they too would follow Christ and accept the new me. 

ME:  I want to know how you dealt with and overcame your loss of power, purpose in life, and the prestige you had gained.  How did you come to terms with life as you knew it and wanted it.  You had everything planned out, and then BOOM.  It all changed in an instant. It collapsed like a building in an earthquake.  How did you reconstruct your life out of the ashes?

PAUL:  I was the hunter - hunting for followers of Christ, and suddenly, I became the hunted.  Some friends let me down the city wall in a basket so I could escape.  I went away for three years. To the desert.  I had to get alone and meditate.  I had to be alone to pray.  To think. I also read the scriptures - especially Isaiah.   I had lost everything that was dear to me.  I suddenly found myself as an outcast. My friends turned their backs on me. It was tough there in the desert. But, slowly and surely, the dawn arose in my heart and mind.  I began to see. It wasn't sudden like when my sight was restored.  It was like I was crawling.  Searching for answers. Trying to figure out everything that had happened to me. Trying to make sense of it all. 

I finally discovered what was most important. It was a painful, long three year process.  Christ revealed to me that my identity wasn't in power, prestige, or money. It wasn't in the position I had attained. I realized all that was dung. I was running after the wrong things. And, those things defined who I was. Christ emptied me of all that worthless stuff.  Jesus revealed that my surpassing worth is in knowing Him. To be in a love relationship with Him. Nothing else matters. This was grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness from Him. 

ME:  Do you have any regrets?  Do you miss anything about your past before Jesus intervened on the Damascus Road?  After all, you had everything going for you.  

PAUL:  The Lord Jesus revealed to me that He is my everything. My hopes and dreams are now fulfilled in and through Him. His power is made perfect in my weakness. My loss turned out to be my gain.  I gained everything when I lost it all!  I am complete in my union with Christ. I wouldn't go back to my old past life for anything. Why would I ever want to do that?  Out of His glorious riches, all my needs are supplied. I have His resurrection power.  I have prestige as His servant. I have position that He has assigned in His body, and I have treasure greater than silver and gold given to me by his abounding grace. 

ME:  Amen and amen.