Who am I? I am an ambassador.

Who am I?  I am an ambassador for Christ.

Some of the happiest memories of my childhood were in Royal Ambassadors (RA's).  It was kind of a Southern Baptist Boy Scouts.  I had ingrained in me the RA motto verse, "We are ambassadors for Christ."  That made me feel pretty special then, and and it does now.  It's another powerful description of my identity that Christ gives me. Well, the Apostle Paul gives me this identity. He's the one who defines me as Christ's ambassador. But, I consider it coming from Christ nevertheless.

When I was about 16, I was asked to become a Royal Ambassador leader. I led a group of boys in my church as their RA counselor.  I passed on to them the wonderful fact and privilege of being an ambassador and a royal ambassador at that!  An ambassador for my King representing Him and His country, the Kingdom of God.

When I was a Southern Baptist pastor, I always supported the Royal Ambassador program.  In one church, I led the men to begin Royal Ambassadors for the boys.  It quickly grew because of good, faithful laymen and was an instrument of blessing for many boys.  My son was a Royal Ambassador in churches I served and has happy memories of that experience.

Who am I?  I am Christ's ambassador.  Knowing who I am gives me a deep sense of purpose. Everyone's identity comes from outside him/herself and is incorporated into his/her sense of self.

My first understanding of self came from my parents. They gave me a confused identity. I knew they loved me.  Yet, they also criticized me. I felt I could do nothing right. I sought to please them, but nothing I did no matter how hard I tried seemed to please them. I always fell short of their expectations for me.  I set out to prove them wrong. That really led to identity confusion.  I latched on to people who I thought affirmed me and turned to trying to please them. I finally realized that I was trying to please my parents through them in order to get the praise I lacked as a child.

That's craziness because I became addicted to pleasing people and became addicted to their praise.  I relished the praise of others.  I wanted them to think that I was "SOMEBODY!"

Looking back, that was the manifestation of my idolatry.  I worshipped others and wanted others to worship me with their praise of me and my performance. I was miserable and unhappy and felt like a ping pong ball going back and forth.  Praised, I felt happy, affirmed, respected, important, and significant. Criticized, I felt rejected, inferior, lonely, dissed, and insignificant. So, I tried even harder to earn the approval from people whom I considered important and necessary to give me my identity. I wanted them to define me in a positive way. It's no fun feeling like a ping pong ball being smacked back and forth from affirmation to rejection. From highs and lows. From happiness to depression. I had put myself at the mercy of others dependent on them to fulfill my deep need to be "SOMEBODY."

Out of my emotional pain from being knocked around all over the table seeking my identity from any and everyone, I began a quest that ended in self-understanding and self-awareness of who I am.

When I stopped long enough to listen to the Lord, to meditate, to seek counseling, to read good Christian self-help books, then Christ revealed to me my true identity.  I am His.  He is mine.  I knocked on the door.  He opened it and lavished me with Himself giving me my true identity.  The truth set me free.

Christ gave me true self-understanding and self-awareness. After all, He is Truth.

I began a journey of understanding who I really am. It's been a wonderful journey of discovery and revelation. I was so moved that I wanted to write about my true identity feeling that others may be going through the same wrenching experience of not knowing who they really are. Of being knocked around like a ping pong ball and searching for their identity and purpose for being born. Perhaps, my musings will be helpful to somebody who needs the positive identity of self-hood that Christ gives me.

As Christ's ambassador, it is as though God is making His appeal through me on Christ's behalf: "Be reconciled to God." To be one with Him. To reflect the image of Christ and to be at peace in mind, emotions, and spirit.  

 

Not only do I have a fully formed identity, I have a driving purpose coming out of my identity. Christ gives me a driving passion to live. To be His ambassador. To work as His ambassador.

It sounds weird. I knew I was His ambassador, but I didn't know it.  Now, all of this makes sense. It was not easy.  Yet at the same time, it was easy. All I had to do was believe, accept His definition of me, and act on that!

I am appointed by my King to represent Him in a foreign land where I am an alien.  I want to do my best to please Him. To put my best foot forward. To represent His interests and not mine. That's a transformation for me. Previously, I was all about representing me and desirous of people who I thought important to give me their praise and adulation.

Working as an ambassador in a foreign land can be dangerous and life-threatening. Not everyone likes who I represent. I think of  our U.S. Ambassador, John Christopher Stevens, who was murdered on September 11, 2012, at out embassy in Benghazi, Libya, by Muslims who hated him and hate the United States. Likewise, there are those who hate the Christ I represent and thus hate me. I have been the object of their hatred. At a former church, one member told me on the church steps to go back to hell and the devil where I came from.  At another church, a member told me that he prayed lightning would strike me dead. No, it's sometimes not easy being an ambassador for Christ. But by far, and most of the time, I am welcomed and treated with respect and honor.  I am blessed to be and serve as His ambassador.

Paul even considered himself to be "an ambassador in chains," and asked the church to pray that He might declare the gospel fearlessly.

This charge of faithful ambassadorship comes from Christ and has been passed on and on, down through the ages to even me. 

My predecessors have been cast out, flogged, stoned, burned, and beheaded for their loyalty to the gospel.  Their embassies have been pillaged and burned. I think of the recent Muslim attacks on the Syrian and Egyptian Coptic Christian churches especially. 

I am under the most solemn obligation of loyalty and faithfulness to the sacred work to give Christ honor and praise in this foreign land ruled by the prince of the power of the air, the spirit now at work in the "children of disobedience."

Moreover, I have a duty to live a Christ-like life since I represent Him. When an ambassador for Christ finds him/herself in an embarrassing or awkward position, it cannot but discredit the cause of truth and the One represented. So, I am careful to never discredit Him through a lapse in morality. My language and actions must be pure and self-controlled. However, I have to admit that there have been times when I failed in this especially when my temper gets the best of me.

There are so many ways to be disloyal and derelict in my duty to my King. The list is endless on how I can bring shame to Him, His cause, and His kingdom who I represent. But I do know and am aware that those in and out of the church will be attracted to the gospel by my complete devotion to Him and unequivocal devotion to duty. As Christ's ambassador, I cannot turn back, even though I may suffer hardship, ridicule, hostility, and fierce opposition.

Being an ambassador for Christ has it's perks and perils. I gladly serve and will serve as Christ's ambassador. It is a lifelong service and defines who I am!  I am thankful He chose and appointed me to represent Him in this foreign land. I pray my service will point others to join His kingdom and serve as His ambassador wherever they are. 

Who am I?  I am an ambassador for Christ.

As a Royal Ambassador, I will do my best:

To become a well-informed, responsible follower of Christ;
To have a Christ-like concern for all people;
To learn how the message of Christ is carried around the world;
To work with others in sharing Christ; and
To keep myself healthy in mind and body.

Amen!