A Word Fitly Spoken

There's nothing quite like an old-fashioned Southern barbeque. I'm not talking about the barbeque that comes from a little barbeque shack on a rural southern road.  I'm talking about an old-fashioned Southern barbeque like our ancestors had back in the 1800's. The happy planned barbeque at the Wilkes place at Twelve Oaks from Gone with the Wind comes to mind.  

 

That tradition is alive and well in the rural South. 

 

Back in the mid 1990's, I had the privilege to be invited to July 4th barbecues at Kenneth Morgan's pond house in Edgefield County, South Carolina. I was his pastor, and he always invited me and my family for the festivities and to bless the feast. Ah, the benefits of pastoral service!

 

Kenneth loved people and his large extended family. Several drove long distances for the gala occasion. It was an event not to be missed. With Kenneth, the more the merrier!  As I recall, fifty to sixty or more gathered to share stories, laugh, and visit with those they hadn't seen in ages. Real Southern stuff!  

 

Kenneth was a great Southern host mixing and mingling with family and friends making everyone feel welcome, and welcome we were!  

 

Pit cooked
BBQ chicken

Kenneth and some of the men stayed up all night laughing and telling stories while slowly cooking the Q over an open pit. The men basted the chicken throughout the night with a special home made Carolina sauce 

 

The ladies fixed all the sides and deserts.  There was "Miss" Angel's (pronounced with a short "A" like in "Ann." In the South, you show respect to an older woman even if she's married by the title Miss instead of Mrs." 

 

Well, where was I?  Oh yea.  There was Miss Angel's real Southern

caramel and red velvet cakes.  They were to die for.  Angel's husband, Mr. W. C., made the hash. You gotta have hash with barbeque, and he made the best.  Edgefield County is known for its peach growing farms, and fresh picked peaches abounded at fruit stands in the peach growing area. So, the ladies made mouth watering peach pies and peach cobblers. Laid before us were other assorted pies and cakes too. Someone always brought Southern fried pies (Yankees call them tarts). They are dried apples or peaches wrapped in a flour dough and fried). 

 

One barbeque staple we always had was Carolina rice. South Carolinians make rice like nobody else on the planet.  It's part of their culture from the old rice plantations on the coast in the 1700's. Other sundry Southern sides filled the tables like baked beans, biscuits, fresh corn on the cob, home made pickles, and fresh picked green beans out of someone's garden cooked with fatback, and fresh picked big, plump, perfectly ripened tomatoes. 

 

There was always enough to feed the whole county it seemed. 

 

We all loaded our plates, People gathered on the porch, in the pond, house, in the yard under the shade trees and ate until we were about to pop. Then, we went back for more. The barbecued chicken was so tender, it fell off the bone. We washed it down with a tall glass of Southern sweet ice tea. 

 

Then when we thought we couldn't eat another bite, we grabbed a clean plate and piled it high with cake, pie, and cobbler.  

 

After dinner, we lazied around and fought hard to keep from nodding off. There's nothing like a nap after a big dinner, but that would have to wait later after we got home. 

 

Instead of napping, the men kind of gathered in small groups to talk politics, catch up on family news, church news from near and far, and gossip a little bit. The women segregated themselves as they do in the South and cleaned up our mess and talked about whatever women talk about. 

 

After dinner on one of those happy 4th of Julys, I was busily talking as preachers are wont to do and noticed that Johnny had left us.  I looked around and spotted him fishing on the far side of the pond. 

 

I had been praying for Johnny and thought of him often.  He had been raised in church but was no longer active. Oh, he attended on occasion.

 

Here was my chance to talk with him privately. I excused myself and made my way over to chit chat with him while he was alone. I felt something was bothering him to cause him to miss the happy post-dinner fellowship.

 

"You had any luck?" I asked. 

 

"A few nibbles. Caught one not big enough to keep," he replied.

 

To be honest, I thought he was a little annoyed in that I had invaded his privacy. Sometimes, a man wants to be left alone to deal with whatever he's dealing with. 

 

So, we just stood beside each other in silence for a while before I spoke not knowing quite what to say.  

 

"We sure would like to have you in our church," I said hoping to start a conversation. 

 

"When I go, I like to go to my home church where my mother and family go.  I've been a member there all my life.  I'm not Baptist. I'm Pentecostal."

 

"That's good," I answered. Baptists are a little dry compared to Pentecostals.  I wish we had some of that Pentecostal spirit."

 

More silence. 

 

"Well," I thought, "that bombed."

 

"You know Johnny" I said breaking the silence, "It's important to go to church and get involved.  For me, I need the fellowship and encouragement. I know every church has their problems. My church has problems as you well know. They all do."

 

"Yea, my home church has issues too."

 

"But Jesus died for us, the church, and filled it with misfits like me. Look at his disciples. They argued and fussed, but Jesus loved them anyway. They were a band of misfits like you and me.  Know that you are welcome in our church. I'm always glad to see you when you attend.

 

"And church gives us a chance to grow in Christ too.  The singing, the preaching of the Word of God, praying for one another, and bearing one another's burdens."

 

"I'll think about it." He responded. 

 

"Yes, please do and pray too."

 

I talked on a little while longer. I can't remember everything I said.  I think I had a prayer with him and excused myself. I could tell he wanted to be alone. 

 

I didn't think much more about our meeting beside the pond. But obviously, he did.  

 

Johnny soon started attending our church more often. Later, he was there every Sunday. He moved his membership to our church, and it wasn't long before the church recognized his gifts and made him a deacon. 

 

After six years of ministry with these fine people, I had a melt down in a deacons meeting and resigned as pastor. Johnny was the only deacon who tried to talk me out of it. But, I huffed off anyway.  Driving home, I realized my foolish and rash decision and regretted it. 

 

I kind of lost touch with Johnny. We'd see each other from time to time on different occasions. But, we didn't get a chance to talk much. 

 

Recently, I was invited to officiate a wedding to be held at Johnny's church, my former church. I was presently surprised to find that his wife was there to operate the sound system. And where his wife is, Johnny is usually there too.  

 

At the wedding reception-dinner, we sat together and had an opportunity to catch up on family news. As we were about to depart, Johnny told me some things that I'll treasure the rest of my life. 

 

Me and Johnny

"Do you remember that 4th of July when I was off by myself fishing?" He asked. 

 

"Yes," I answered. 

 

"I felt that you came to me as a shepherd seeking his lost sheep.  You weren't pushy or condemning. You just came at a time when I was really low and dealing with some stuff. I still remember some of the words you said. That meeting  by  the pond almost twenty years ago changed my life."

 

Johnny and I became emotional. I had no idea what a few encouraging words had meant to him - words that the Lord used to change his life. Amazing!  It's like that verse in Proverbs.  "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in baskets of silver" (Proverbs 25:11).

 

I had a confession to make too. Something I had never done but should have done a long time ago. I apologized for exploding, resigning, and huffing off at that deacons meeting fourteen years ago.  

 

I said, " I  wish I could rewind time and have a do-over."

 

Then Johnny said, "Yes, we are both wiser today than we were back then."  

 

"Ain't that the truth," I responded. "It's like that old Amish saying, 'We get too soon old and too late smart.'" 

 

We hugged necks and vowed to get together again for a couples dinner somewhere. 

 

What a night!  What an experience!  You just never know  the effect of  what a good word spoken in love has. The Bible says, "Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad" (Proverbs 12:25).

 

Critical and judgmental words tear down and destroy people.  Encouraging words spoken in love build up.  Words have a tremendous effect for good or bad upon all of us.  So, be a builder upper.  Speak encouragement in the spirit of Christ's love for you.  The effect can change the life of a person whose really low and dealing with weighty issues. 

 

When two or three are walking together, it will be a much lighter load for isn't that what a brother and a sister are for?

 

Finish your devotion with "Standing in the Gap" by Babbie Mason.  Click the link or click the arrow on the imbedded YouTube video.